Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Monday, August 27, 2012
Accept or dismiss.. the story of a single girl's life. One false move and you're forever scarred or even worst..you become a bitter Betty. Contrary to popular belief.. giving out your number, going on a date, and having sex with someone can change your entire life including changing who you can & cannot associate yourself with from that point on. If you're going to accept you have to be very selective being that it would clearly be annoying as hell to have alot of "so what do you look for in a guy" text in your inbox. If you dismiss; you could be missing out on great potential.
So let's just say you're at an event...every guy who glances your way & approaches you hopes you don't embarrass them by not giving the number up. You eventually get tired of saying "I have a boyfriend" since it doesn't mean anything anyway to the savages & indulge in a funny & harmless convo making you notice potential. So you exchange numbers with him. You begin texting him & liking how fast he responds to your text..this is perfect since you don't like talking on the phone so of course you two end up going on date. On the date, you notice there isn't any spark, nothing he says is keeping you interested in the conversation and now you're anxious to get home so you can subtweet about the boring date. Leaving the restaurant you spot some onlookers but very familiar faces. "Damn" you say to yourself.. "please don't let them see me".. and right in the middle of your panic he turns to you and says "let me go holla at my homies for a minute be right back" & plants a kiss on your lips. Wait, he hadn't touched you during the date at all and now all of a sudden he's gotten the urge to kiss you??? You barely move because you're shocked by his actions. Then you remember there are witnesses, you recheck the food dish & picstich of your fly ass outfit you uploaded on instagram earlier & noticed he's uploaded one as well with part of your shirt in the picture & it's gotten more than 40 likes...what to do? No matter what you do you have just been seen out "hugged up & kissing" some guy, what you thought? You know people exaggerate everything! So now you have a "man".
Now the flip side of this. You meet a guy, text him, love his convo, enjoy spending time with him, the sex is good & you begin losing interest in everybody else. You stop giving out your number under the impression things maybe getting serious even though you just met his ass 3 weeks ago. But "so what", you think within those 3 weeks you've managed to spend almost everyday together.."he has to be feeling the same way." During the 4th week you notice he's becoming distant.. so you text him "what's going on with us" he unapologetically text back "us? I didn't know there was an us, we just been kicking it..and now I think we should slow down cause you're developing feelings that I'm not ready for..we're just moving too fast."
You're more than crushed. You have been telling your girls about him, tweeting about him, instagraming pics of the places you've gone with him, and have been only texting and calling him since the two of you have been hanging out.
This is a vicious cycle for a single girl, we date, figure out we don't like the person, get spotted & assumptions are made. Or, we meet a guy, spend too much time in a short period & fall hard & strong for him. It's not that its planned & you're clingy.. it just sort of happens.
Now if you're attractive & single..you're a hoe anyway. And if you're always in a relationship you're insecure & can't live without a man. We can't win. No sense in trying to argue with society. Lmao.
So what do you do??? You invest your time into something that will better you. "Love on your own time" in the words of a good friend.. when everything rises and sets on your ass disappointments won't be as disappointing.. & if all else fails. Do you but remember.... Perception can very well be reality.
Until next time...
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I can’t help but notice that the “good guys” always have some corny line opening or something uninteresting to talk about once you finally give them your number. I don’t like bad guys per say.. but it’s hard to like a good guy. I know you know why but let me break this down for those of you who don’t. The average good guy is a push over.. he always over does everything to satisfy you to the point that he is absolutely boring as hell. Not to mention (depending on the type of girl you are and you know if you possess the looks, skills, and sassiness overall) he is usually so damn insecure. No matter how you say I’m leaving this inside man (see first blog) alone to be with someone who will treat me like I deserve to be treated you get the nice guy & end up not being happy at all. What the hell is the problem? Is there no median?? You have to take the good with the bad..but who wants to be miserable all in the name of love? Damned if you do, damned if you don’t *sighs* truly mind boggling to say at the least.
As women we always like to feel as if the guy has changed. We stay with the bad guy praying that one day we can say “he changed for me”. Why don’t we like the guy who doesn’t need to be changed, tamed, or beat upside the head with a frying pan? Simple. It’s the thrill of all the drama and nonsense that comes along with the bad boys. We could be in a relationship with two men. One who wants to marry us, buy a house, and move away to start a family, and one who has commitment issues, lives with his mammy, and makes you get an abortion every time he doesn’t pull out on time. Who do you think gets more attention? Surely not the one who treats you like a queen…because he is so repetitive and just too damn nice.
I don’t know if it’s a cure for this need of just a little bit of “aint shitness” syndrome. But, I do know this. The guy who never forgets to text you good morning everyday & good night every evening, treats you with respect even though you ignore most of his text messages, cheers you up when the other guy hurts your feelings, compliments every hairstyle or every outfit you have ever put on, remembers your favorite color, your hobbies, and the co-worker you can’t stand name should be the one you’re checking for. We complain about alllll of these ain’t shit men in the world but then when we finally find someone who takes the time to learn us, love us & care…we call them our bff or we get them, use & abuse them & turn them into everything he wasn’t for the next broad.
Even if your man isn’t like the inside man and he is indeed your man does that exempt him from being someone you shouldn’t be with? It definitely does not. You know what’s acceptable & what’s not; you know the situations that you’re too ashamed to tell your friends about? Well, it shouldn’t be that many situations like that. YES, uncertainty can be exciting. The bad guy does possess desired traits and this makes him appealing, but NO we shouldn’t fail to see his BAD intentions. Now, of course every theory can be misconstrued. I’m not saying every corny guy who appears to be nice is in fact a good guy! I’m not saying that the bad guy won’t change for you when you threaten to leave. All I’m saying is to think with your head & not with your heart. Funny how we can know when our phone bill is due but still wait until the day of.. or until it gets cut off before we pay it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The drama the drama these got damn baby mamas. Mannn, They never let go. No matter how long they haven't been with their child's father they will still create hell for the new chick he's dealing with. Whyyyyy??? Don't fret because it baffles us all. I think we have all been with a guy who has a child and an annoying ass baby mama. No matter how nice you try to be towards her and their seed she gives your man a hard time. How many times have you had to stay home while he goes to pick the child up? How many stares of death have you been given when she sees you? Yet & still we keep our peace....just so you wouldn't be the reason he ends up not being able to see his child. Now. I'm a baby mama. I've never been the typical one though. So let me talk my shit. The average baby mama didn't have that baby because she doesn't believe in abortions. She had that baby because she felt like whatever he has is what she's trying to get for the rest of her life. And you are now ruining her happily ever after. No matter how evident it is he has moved on 9 times out of 10 he's still soothing her to stay off of child support..no matter what that soothing may entail.
Now I can't say that all men with children are dealing with their baby mama, but don't be a fool either. If she doesn't want to let him go & he wants to continue maintaining the peace aka "just ignore her baby" there is no way in the hell your relationship will last. All women have a little bit of crazy in them but baby mamas have a different kind of crazy. They have that stalk your entire life, slash your tires, & do WHATEVER it takes to keep their family intact kind of crazy. I also want to say. They're all not acting crazy for no reason. You have to pay close attention to the details of their relationship. Be mindful & considerate of the fact that he has to maintain a relationship with the mother of his child. How close is too close? Well if he claims he doesn't want her to know about you or claims that you can't meet their child after a substantial amount of time then cut his ass off. That means that he's not being direct about her place in his life. Don't fall for the whole "she know I don't want to be with her" hoopla. It's never that apparent. A short message to you crazy baby mamas. You're only hurting your child by keeping them away from their father because of the differences between the two of you. Every child deserves 2 parents..you could never take the place of the father..just double the mother. Since its not every day that men want to be a part of their child's life don't make your child suffer because you don't know when to let go or how to handle your emotions.